Monday, 30 August 2010

I really dont want to be a Millionaire PERIOD

Surprised? Well don't be... When I say it, I mean it.. I am sure you would agree if you have to face what Me and a few of my friends and colleagues had to ...

I begin my Monday morning with the usual blues and greens and reds.. between checking mails and handling those alerting troubles, I get my phone vibrating around (I keep my phone on silent mode always) . It vibrates for a while and finishes and I happen to check it only after a few missed calls.. all dialled from the same number... Usually I am not very courteous but I decide to call back... Bingo and the Disaster stuck....

The Phone rings for a while, before it is picked up by some lady who keeps me on hold for 2 minutes and without covering the headset keeps chatting with the next door agent (I assume it was a call centre).. I am not putting in the details now as I am sure you have had enough laughs watching "Outsourced" , "Mumbai Calling" and of course reading all those funny call centre stories over Internet and Chetan Bhagat's.....

So after a few minutes of wait, I am transferred to a lady with a husky voice.. Huh? These days you can take all the pleasures over voices.. specially when those voices are dusky and husky it feels like a glass of whisky...The lady in the other side whom I am now going to call "The Miracle Woman" (since she is going to change my life by all those virtual Miracles) I hear
"Sir, Congratulations... I am XXX calling from XXX bank and I am calling to change your life and make you a millionaire"

I never heard this line before.. so I was taken back by curiosity...

Me : What is it?

Miracle Woman : You are chosen by our bank and are offered a Lifetime free credit card "

Me : Wow.. Thank you very much. But I am not interested and I am busy too.

Miracle Woman : Sir, This offer is one of its kind and you don't have to pay anything for your lifetime, above all it has XXX facility , you get a 55 days interest free period, blah blah blah

Me : I am Sorry. But I am not interested.

Miracle Woman : But if I tell you some more details I am very sure you would want this card desperately.

Me : (With all the curiosity ) Is it? And what would that be?

Miracle Woman : With this card you will also get a addon card that too life time free, a cash back on every purchase anywhere, discounts, points that can be redeemed with several gadgets etc.

Me : See its lucrative, but I already have a card and I am happy with it.

Miracle Woman : That is excellent. If you have one you would not need to submit any documents, I would just need your last months statement and a print of your card. This card is given to only VIP's and having it will enable to you to access some 5star hotels in various cities.

Me : I get indebted with all these cards, enforces me to use it and go in debt. So I am sorry I wouldn't want it.

Miracle Woman : Don't worry Sir.. we also have our Bank offers and we can extend you a personal loan of up to 20 lakh rupees (2 million INR I guess?). You will be a millionaire and a very special customer to us. We also offer Auto loans in case you want to buy luxury cars and for special category cars like Benz and Audi and others we give more special discounts. We have home loans, Medical loans , Education loans.

Me : Woof.. So I take a credit card , and to pay my bills for those purchases I take a loan. Interesting. And you have one loan for everything?

Miracle Woman : This is a life time offer Sir, dont loose it. You may never get a chance to hold this VVIP card that only Bollywood celebs hold and above all be a Millionaire, buy a car , House, Have yur kids study abroad..

Me : Hmmm.. you making me a Millionaire madam.. and I only have to submit my last months credit card bill??? Thats so easy... But I am sorry I am not interested.

Miracle Woman : Well.. you loosing a great opportunity... but in case you need you can call us. I will call you next month to see if you have any other requirements...

Me : No, wait..

Dang!!!!... phone kept. I had no clue and I am surely going to wait for another call when my life is a mess on a Monday morning.

Anyways.. leaving the conversation.. when the entire world is shouting that there is a RECESSION, ECONOMY IS DOWN.. where are these banks getting money from to offer to Me and so many other people in this universe? If they have so much money and want to make each one of us a MILLIONAIRE, whey he hell do we have economic issues? Anyways.. I dont want to be a Millionaire like this... but wait, there are several such Miracle Women waiting to call you today or tomorrow and change your life, Make you a Millionaire...

Want to be one?