Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Confessions of a frustrated soul!!! - Handle it or Quit your choice

Well its not a rocket science... but it is definitely a science, an art and a lot of commerce... if you mix them up, you would definitely be able to handle frustration easily... Alrite coming back to the important part... we all being humans leaving those smart mon chips there who claim that frustration cannot run their way... we have to learn, definitely learn and practice the ways to handle frustration... like in our earlier post we know that a lot of times frustration comes up linked to competition and growth... remember it can very well positively contribute to ones growth...

Once when the speaker of Loksabha Mr. Somnath Chatterjee got frustrated with the Members of parliament shouting all over the house, he found an answer to the problem.."No and that was not suspension" He bought the noising members to desk and targeted questions to their regions be discussed in the question hour.. a lot of them eventually got quite.

So... handling frustration positively and effectively is just not the thing you can do with a cup of coffee.. we you may need a few more of it and of course shared ones... here is how I tackle frustration..

1. Speak it up

A lot of times the reason to get frustrated and angry is not speaking up. Most of the times not speaking leads to piling up things and our dirty minds then keep on adding negativity into the brains to add up to the frustration. Try to find a way to get the stuff frustrating you out.. discuss it with relevant people who can help you out with it... A previous colleague chose never to speak to anyone at work in situations where he was most frustrated... it was only known when he decided to leave the company on why he was frustrated and why he left, the reason was he was no more wanting to work during night shifts, only after he left he came to know that the Management was thinking of shifting many of people to daytime hours.
2. Take some time off

Usually the situation comes where you are in the routines and that brings up frustration to you even if you dont want to be. Its important that the time off is taken regularly to keep you energized and motivated and thus you can always come back with new flavors and new spirit. Once my 7 yr old asked me during a cricket match on why did the drinks come after every 30 minutes in cricket and why not even once in football. Apart from the logical shorter time game I could not think of another reason until when the commentator claimed that he always used the drink breaks to reset his mind set. Yes imagine a batsmen on the crease for 5 hrs waiting on the other side of the wicket to see how his partner just lets the ball go without scoring... enough to frustrate? Yes... that other batsmen, fielder and bowler need time off from the routine to rethink what they need to do...

3. Do what you like best

This is the time when you are tired of doing what you are doing.. and this is the time when you would want to do what you like the most to keep yourself motivated. A frustrated salesman who could not do any major sales in a full quarter was just about to quit when he was asked to take a break during which he did what he wanted to do best networking, social networking... he logged into his profile of social networks and started connecting to people... accidentally or with coincidence he was able to generate a couple of leads from the old school pals who were in business... Having said that this is the time and task that can let you bring your focus back, motivated with the spirit of accomplishment.

4. List down the reasons

Majority of times we dont know why we get frustrated, even if we know we dont know what to do with them. I remember a story of a scientist who while working on a very critical project had posted hundreds of post its in his bedroom... once his son entered the bedroom and started reading them .. words like "Did this approach of XYZ ever worked, what is the best way to do it?" blah blah all confusing for the kid, the kid left... he came back a month later to only find hardly few posts on the walls he asked his father "Where did all the post notes go?" Scientist replied... every time I get frustrated "I write a not about what frustrates me and post it on the wall" every day I enter my room I see them all around... I think over them and eventually get an answer to my frustration.....

Yes.. if you list them down , you may get time to rethink over them and find solutions or discuss them with others....

5. Identify the areas
As mush important it is to find the items that frustrate you is important to find the areas where you get frustrated.... A thing may frustrate you once, but if the same thing frustrates you always... my friend, its time you think over it... it is thus important to list them out and then create a pattern if you are usually "Frustrated Soul" A married man who had to go shopping with his wife every weekend realised that shopping with wife frustrates him, he had quarrel and fights with wife.... the wife never understood what was the reason to his frustration.... she once choose to change the shopping list and took the man to a lingerie shop, what happened to frustration was unknown?

6. Leave the brain and mind and different locations and Focus
Focus is key in this state. Keep your brain involved so it does not remind you of the items that frustrate you and let the mind be doing things that it likes so you dont remember what was frustrating you.... As long as you focus and remain positive the frustrating state is going to go off...keep calm, drink water, exercise and try to keep focus on positive and nicer things...



Yes, if you can't handle your frustration, you are nothing but a looser... so Quit.