Friday, 7 March 2008

Dealing with difficult people II -- The How to

So I could finally save some time today and try to write up what I started a few days back... Dealing with Difficult People - I So when you are dealing with Difficult people who come as Hostile Barbarians there are a few things that need to be taken care unless you really want to ruin the democracy in the Team.... The Hostile Barbarians as said are the species who want to run their own things no matter what it takes and what anyone has to bear....Usually I practice to bring the lava down by using sweet but straight and polite questions instead of directions...There are different ways in dealing with such people a few of them are here:

Usually the hostile barbarians try to pull the trigger in the meetings when the entire Team or people are around...such points it is important you stand up to them... simple way is:

1. Boss I Disagree!!! IMO this is how....
Or
2. XXX think you really know about this, but why dont you tell us more so we understand what we are planning to achieve and what you want to implement is in same lines?

At times it is better to name and give a soft cover to handling the barbaric situation.... somewhat like "Sameer! I Know where you come from, But I think if we take this direction it may help both of us..."

This also comes to a fact that dejecting or rejecting Ideas, suggestions from such people can create more hostility so the best way to deal is to let them say without them interupting the flow. The barbarians that love sarcasm or taunts and this needs to be handled behind closed doors. I prefer the sarcasm side of the barbarians to be taken to a closed door where you can be direct and make clear that such things do NO GOOD. It is obvious that the damage is already done when they pass on sarcastic comments but closed door direct talk can help avoid further situations....

The other side of the barbarians is that they explode... as a Manager you may have to investigate the past and do one on ones to explain the importance of not getting into emotional cyclones... The other way round is to get some serious help for such people... The only way I try to handle this situation and it works is Just look in the eyes and say nothing.. I am sure it gives the message "Do you realise that you just created a tantrum?"

The hostile barbarians prevent getting on the solution side of the problem... the realistic approach would be to try and get them on the other side without letting them create the unrequired CHAOS...